I Say Things

This is in response to: This

This has very clearly nothing to do with the original blog entry anymore so I’m moving this conversation out into the open and the fresh air.

…Okay, I forgot how much fresh air sucks, but no matter.

Yes, I have read several John/Karkat Fics. Not many, and even fewer to completion, I tend to just bail out when I can no longer suspend my disbelief.

I have yet to be pleasantly surprised by any of them, one of them was so bad I would without irony qualify it as one of the worst pieces of anything that the fandom has produced. I obviously don’t consider that one to be fair to judge the rest on however.

I don’t think I’ve read John/Dave except for maybe once or twice. I am however curious about “A Game of Gay Cluckbeast” on Kinkmeme, it’s absolutely enormous. At the very least it makes me suspect some effort was put into it.

However I have made a point of at least attempting to read every single HSO entry in a main round before passing my obviously omnipotent judgement. I’m relatively certain that I’m not technically allowed to comment on the quality of any specific entries, however I will say that I have been pleasantly surprised by some. Infuriatingly disappointed in others however. This applies to both slash and heterosexual entries however.

I was even tricked into reading a fair bit into your Promstuck. I ended up eventually chasing after something shiny and dropping it however. Pretty good but there are two distinct flaws in how you handled things, however both could be fixed without too much effort and you may well have addressed them later, making this entire paragraph null and void.

I rephrased the whole denial thing in my original reblog. What possessed me to use that overdramatic phrasing I don’t even know.

“or the simple fact that they would like to enjoy a queer narrative that doesn’t portray gay as being like some kind of personal cancer one has to come to grips with. Sometimes you want chocolate icecream, sometimes you want strawberry.”

Here’s a crazy idea. If you want to write about a queer character so badly… How about writing about a character that actually IS gay? If I went to sleep tonight and woke up to find that John/Karkat and John/Dave had been replaced by… I don’t know, Equius/Karkat and Equius/Dave then I’d be… weirded the fuck out. (How the hell did that even happen?) But at the very least you don’t have to fundamentally alter either character in the pairing in order to get them buttsecksing eachother.

Dave only has an implicit sexuality, which would make him being gay, or even bisexual a lot less fundamentally unbelievable. Added to it, all trolls unless otherwise confirmed are explicitly bisexual, which means all of the male trolls are prime candidates for the navy.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I’d still be annoyed at all of the fics, but not because of the pairing specifically. I’d be annoyed that two pairings dominate over 60% of all the fanfiction in the fandom. They aren’t even canon pairings either, which would make it significantly less weird but only marginally less annoying.

Fuck, I’d eventually get annoyed if the two top pairings were John/Vriska and John/Rose. And that’s canonical, heterosexual and involves three of my top three favorite characters. My top three favorite characters are in order - Vriska, John, Dave/Jade/Kanaya/Karkat/Rose (Third place is a tie).

“C-can I at least see Kanaya with one of those two girls?”

“Dave/Terezi is nice too…”

“Maybe we could see Aradia sometime? You know, change of pace?”

I guess my point is, Fuck my life.