Welcome to Act Six.
Let’s see, what’ve we got here….
Okay, I’m going to presume that the submission was serious for the sake of snark.
- Porrim and Kankri. Not even remotely canon. But it’s also hilarious. It’s sitcom gold!
- Dirk and Jane: Lolnope. Maybe Jane <3 ARquiusprite.
- Karkat and Nepeta: Heavily implied to have happened in an alternate timeline. And Fefetasprite’s probably Karkat’s number 3 love interest behind Terezi and Jade.
- Dave and Jade: Jade dated Davesprite, an alternate timelive versino of Dave, for nearly two years!
- Roxy and Dave: They’re not friends, they’ve barely even met, your argument is invalid. Also, it’s been a running gag since A5A2. I mean, I’m not saying that Homestuck’s going to go where Heinlein, Red Dwarf and Futurama have gone before, I personally think it’s pretty frakkin’ unlikely due to the “one yard” speech, tropology and complicated dramatic, comedic and narrative calculus. #or guesstimates of convoluted napkin math, whatever
- Rose and Jake. Not friends, barely know eachother, 2x argument invalidation combo! Also, Jakes like a cooler / dorkier, more / less mature, more badass / squeamish version of John Egbert (you know, Rose Lalonde’s secondary love interest).
Also, it seems to me that there is a (MATHS) % chance that the OP was trying to frame friendship and romance as mutually exclusive categories and / or opposing forces, and that sort of framing tends to be kind of problematic. *cringe*
Number six is Rose/John. Just look at their shirts.
And I’m reasonably sure that’s Dirk in number 5, not Dave.
Are you telling me that two characters based off of Jesse and James (and obviously Nepeta is Meowth) could accomplish all of this without digging a hole, delivering overdramatic monologues, or crossdressing? I DON’T THIN-
oh my god
The weird designations of the two troll groups also kind of bugs me. This is certainly an interesting read too, so I’ll give you that.
I’m pretty sure this doesn’t happen?
I mean I would definitely look down on a man who only ships F/F.